Something for Myself

I was tired of doing things for others.

Not Necessarily in the sense that I was just doing things to please other people, but in the sense that I wasn't really doing things that were explicitly FOR ME.

I found myself doing things just for the "likes" I would get on Facebook, or because it was what I should do, or even just not thinking much about why I was doing anything really.

My birthday was around the corner, and I had been debating doing something fairly drastic. I wrestled with myself about it for a few months. One day I finally just said to myself, "What am I waiting for?" And that was really the moment.

So I started researching my choice like crazy, because this would change some drastic things, and I wanted to do it right. I also wanted to do it just for me. I would do this by myself, for myself. I didn't really care what anyone would think because this was just going to be for me. I also didn't post anything about it on social media for a while. Because I wanted to do something just for me. IT WAS MY THING.

Here was my thing.

Before.

After.

I was extremely pleased with the results. It made me feel like a new person. My confidence shot up 5000%. I was so happy with it. I felt like I could do anything. Which is so funny that hair can do something like that, but it really can.

Like I mentioned, I put a lot of research into this, including what stylist, and salon to get the chop done at. So the day of my cut finally came. I drove myself to the salon. Took a million selfies of my long hair, and I walked in. Getting a lot of hair cut off is one of the most surreal things ever. Because you can literally see your past self sitting on the counter- in the form of your long locks they just chopped off. It was actually a really satisfying feeling. I had been planning this and obsessing over this for months, and I was finally watching my new self emerge in that mirror. 

The stylist did an amazing job- so huge kudos to her. Which is a huge reason on why I feel so great with my new super short hair.

I absolutely love it. I may never go back to the long locks. There are few moments where I miss the long hair, but I remember how clueless I was about what to do with my long hair, and all of those feelings go away. 

I have never been much of a hair "doer." I just lack the dexterity to create immaculate hair sculptures on the back of my head. It's never been my thing, and I have been clueless for most of my life about what to do with my locks. I have REALLY thick hair as well, and that poses its own challenges. 

Short hair has literally solved all of those problems. The thing that anyone going from long to short hair has to remember is that they won't "do" their hair anymore. It will be more "styling" of your hair. Sometimes in the beginning I would feel really overwhelmed when I got up in the morning and just think, "I can't do anything with this hair." I just had to  take a deep breath and remember that I can do things with this new hair, it is just very different from what I used to do with my hair.

But I love every bit of it. It has given me a new expression, and has really helped me fully reach the style I had been going for all along. I feel like I have fulfilled my personality, and that I'm not trying too hard to be myself anymore. Which is kind of a crazy thing to say, but it's truly how I feel. It's remarkable.

It's amazing the type of things that will turn open a new chapter in one's life. This has made me more confident. Not that I have never lacked confidence at all, but this really changed some things. The last year of my life has been a crazy succession of rapid hard hitting things. A lot of new things, and that is always hard no matter who you are. And I have finally begun to find myself, and this was a tipping point of sorts. This was the outward expression of what I have found on the inside, and it feels great. Everyday I wake up excited, and ready to face the world. Which had taken me some time to find.

Society puts so much weight on hair. When I told my close friends and family that I was chopping it all off, pretty much every single one of them said the same thing, 

"You're so brave!"

Why do we have to be "brave" to do something like cut off all of our hair? At the end of the day, it really is just that. Hair. It is dead cells that sit on our head. Why does it mean so much? The funny thing is, once I let go of it I felt so free, and like I could express myself so much easier. It's almost like I had been hiding behind my hair before. Not consciously of course, but women kind of do that sometimes. And it feels amazing to express my femininity through just who I am, and not by the length of my hair.

I love playing with the style of my hair. Every day is just a new adventure.

I'm kind of obsessed with my hair. When I first got it, my husband was like,

"You love your hair more than me."

It's just so fun! It adds an element of the unknown into every day, and it is so easy to take care of. I just can't help but be a little excited. 

I'm so glad I did this thing just for me. It has brought such an element of style and fun to my life, and I have enjoyed so much the expression it gives me.

If you ever consider doing something fun and crazy just for yourself, just do it. You won't regret it. Live for yourself sometimes. You need it.

Walk With Me. -April

One of my favorite things to do is take a walk. It's so intimate, and such a great way to air out your mind and soul. So I take the toons, and I slither through my little town.

It's also a great excuse to write, and I need to take greater advantage of those moments.

So, come. Take a walk with me.

I was going to take some pictures, but I didn't leave until it was pretty much dark, and I hate flash, so pictures did not happen. But that's okay. Sometimes it's okay to paint pictures with words.

I've recently changed some drastic things about my appearance, (more about that later,) and It's so interesting how many types of eyes we wear. I say that because, we really see the world, or can see the world through many scopes. We see the world through our political, social, economical, (insert every other word you used on your AP history essay,) eyes. We have a lot of eyes.

What prompted this was actually my change. Ever since I did this change, I have seen things so much differently. I look very different from what I used to, and just very different in general, and it has given me a new set of eyes. It has given me softer eyes.

I had a symphony conductor who said that once when we were about to sight read something. When you sight read something for the first time it is pretty much one of the worst things ever. It's worse than the interviewing process. You have no idea what to expect and you have to play it as perfectly as possible. So we were about to attempt a pretty lengthy piece, and she just said, "Alright guys, soft eyes. Soft eyes." She meant that we needed to not just focus on the note we were on, but look over the piece as a whole, and continually look ahead, and just get a good feel for the music as we were playing.

But I like that. We use our hard eyes too often. Why can't we look at people with soft eyes more often? Like maybe there is a big thing about the person. (Tattoo, big nose, weird hair, whatever it is.) But can't we look at the person as a whole, and just be glad that they got dressed that morning? This is something I've worked at my whole life, and will continue to work at.

I ran into a pack of deer on my walk. It was frightening. It was dark and blustery on my walk, and no, I don't live in the mountains, but the deer are becoming city deer around here. They like to wander into town all the time. As I was walking, I looked up, and a deer was about 10 feet away from me staring at me. I looked, and there were about 5 of them, and one almost got hit by a car. They were strewn across my sidewalk. What on earth is the protocol? Is there a way for me to die by deer? Would they freak out? WHAT DO I DO. So I sat their until the cars scared them away. I was just afraid of them as they were of me. #iwouldnevermakeitinthewild

Speaking of eyes, sometimes I see the world in the most beautiful ways. Those are my artist eyes. I am an overly right brained creative. And there are moments where I am so overwhelmed by how beautifully I see things and people, that I kind of die a little bit on the inside, because I know that no one will see the world the same way I do. And that kills me on the inside, because I see things so beautifully. I'm not saying that other people don't, but I just wish I could share it exactly the way I see it. I can a little bit through pictures, and drawings, but the camera can't always capture things the same way I see them.

Tonight was very blustery. A storm is moving in. But I actually love taking walks during storms. Sounds dangerous I know, but I'm talking about light rain storms here. Nothing life threatening. There's nothing like a walk in a good storm. I can't really explain it, it just brushes off the things we wear on our sleeves in an incredibly natural way, which I love.

Confession: I chew so loud that If I'm watching TV while chewing something, and the TV is on a low volume, I have to turn the TV up. I kid you not. These walks aren't all serious material. 

Well those were the thoughts of major significance. Thanks for joining me. 

The Importance of using our hands: How we are killing the creative process.

We live in a world of instant gratification. 

We also live in a world of convenience and easy access. All of this is all fine and good, and has made modern life quite the breeze. I am not writing this post to condemn an entire generation and make everyone feel bad for using their phone for literally everything. This is not the point. Understand that I too am glued to my phone an irrational, and embracing amount of time. This is about something else.

I have always been a right brained creative. Ever since I was little, and had teachers scolding me for doodling pictures all over my school assignments. Creativity comes quite naturally to me. Over the years my creativity has evolved into many things, and I have found use for my creativity in nearly everything that I do. It is not just used for making art.

All of this in mind, there is one thing that is perhaps most important to me when it comes to creativity.

The Creative Process

The thing that I have come to realize is that I actually enjoy the process of being creative more than I enjoy finishing a project. This actually explains why there are so many unfinished things in my life. I'm a habitual "first 5-10 chapters" reader. I have finished very few books all the way through. (Sorry to every english teacher I have ever had.)

There are many things that I do, and I believe strongly in, and lately it has come to my attention that there are many things that the short cuts of today have truly stopped. Many lost arts, and things that kids of my generation don't truly think about. These are things that I believe enhance the creative process itself, and are so important to use in our lives in some way. Some of these people might argue are due to my natural talents of creativity, which may be partially true, but I am an avid believer that talent is merely a small amount of ability. True ability is much more hard work and patience than anything else.

First thing's first. Music.

How can I not talk about music? The current "streaming" industry has made the world of music so easy and wonderful to use. As I've said in previous posts, it has enhanced our scope, and taste of music so much, and has made it so easy to cater one's music to one's personal tastes, which I think is totally awesome. However there are several things that the enhancement of digital has done to music. 

Let's talk about LP's. Vinyl as the kids are calling it. Vinyl is definitely making a come back thanks to the hipster crowds, but there are more reasons to listen to vinyl than to just keep up with the trends.

Yes, vinyl does have a better sound quality. Digital sound truncates the sound. It takes off the top and bottom registers. Now it only does this with a very unnoticeable part of the sound, the kind that only dogs can hear. So it isn't really THAT noticeable. But there is still a difference.

The digital age has also made it so easy to find the music you want. This is of course a wonderful thing, but if we are talking about the creative process, there are some things that we lose.

The idea of a "Playlist" didn't really come until iTunes came along. Even CD's had the same idea as an LP. If you liked a song, you had to buy a full length album. This is something I think my generation doesn't understand. We are a generation of "picking and choosing", and myself included tends to just pick and choose singles from every group I listen to. Not every group is a one hit wonder. The art of creating an album is becoming a lost one. It really is an art form, as even the order in which songs appear can make or break the songs themselves. Having to buy an entire album even if you originally bought it for just one song meant learning to fall in love with an album. 

We also no longer have to even leave our homes to get great music. Which is again a wonderful thing for anti-social home bodies such as myself, but there is just something about that record shop. 

One of the only ones around me is what I'm pretty sure used to be a smoke shop. You walk in and it smells like some sort of substance. I don't know enough about drugs to place it. #sheltered. Even though that can scare off some people, there's something kind of great about it. Anyway, you walk into this little store that still has bars on the windows, and you walk to the record shelves, and you begin to meander. Through genres, and artists, and sometimes you are looking for something in particular, and other times you are just looking for anything that might catch your eye. No matter what, you are always surprised by what you find. This is the amazing part about record stores. You always find some kind of lost treasure. Truly lost treasure. Many records these days are pretty old, and spent considerable time in someone's attic or garage. I listen to a lot of classical music, (which is great as a vinyl listener, because the classical shelves are always super cheap because they are just trying to get rid of the stuff.) 

Vinyl albums also tell a story. A lot of the vinyl of modern artists often come with hidden surprises. Here are some of my favorites.

Clear Vinyl? Pink Vinyl? That's what I thought opening both of these, but I absolutely love it. It's such an amazing feeling opening up a new record and putting it on for the first time. Most of these albums I have listened to digitally a thousand times before, but there is just something about that first sound.

Another thing I love about albums is the cover art. The art of covers is something we don't really notice as much anymore. I mean apart from the album cover on our iPhone screen while we listen to it, it's like...meh. But there is something about holding a huge blown up version of that album art that just whisks you away. Here are some cool ones.

Great band. Awesome cover.

I mainly love this album because it is the most awesome compilation of 80's jams ever. On Vinyl. That is impossible to find. But the cover art is pretty sweet too.

I was at an antique shop recently, and I found a beautiful Carmen album that I bought for my sister because Carmen is currently her Bae. When I took the album to the register, the lady admired the beautiful cover and asked me if I was buying it just for the cover art. I said that I definitely was buying it for the music, and she replied that she has a lot of people buy it just for the cover art. While the art is very beautiful on the front, I would never buy it just for that.

Many of my records also have sentimental meaning, and tell a story.

This album is not for the faint of heart. Very contemporary. It is one of my favorite cellists, playing a piece written by one of his greatest friends. Shotokovich and Rostropovich. What a duo! My senior year of high school I was in the thick of musical pedagogy. Practicing my head off. I also had many friends in the band. I was an orchestra kid who didn't discriminate. (; One day the band teacher told me that he had gotten his hands on this Rostropovich record, and I was jumping up and down trying to convince him to hand it over. He then did his little band teacher giggle and told me that maybe I could have it as a graduation present. Well I had orchestra after lunch, so I would always come in early to get my cello out and warm up. This band teacher's office had a window that was connected to the hallway that I walked passed every day to get my cello. One day was walking in, and I saw this face, the one with the glasses, in the window. And I thought, "That looks a lot like Shostoko-Wait a minute." So I banged on the glass of his window, and was like yelling at him. After I got my cello I walked out, and was like, "How long has it been there?" He said he just put it there today. Eventually he handed the record over. I was so grateful. I asked if he wanted anything in return, and he said if I ever find a Miles Davis record to give it to him. 

This album is actually one of the first things my husband ever gave me. It was my first Christmas present from him. Apparently he spent hours at a few different record stores before he stumbled upon this beauty. Which is amazing because he remembered that I love Edith Piaf, and even found a really old record in amazing condition. It remains one of my favorite albums.

Now of course this is not the only avenue of the creative process to talk about. My husband recently dug out his old 1982 Nikon SLR. I love fiddling around with that thing. I'm definitely still a novice at film photography, so I can't sit here and tell you all of the do's and don'ts. I grew up with photography as my mom took pictures of everything, and I have a great eye for layout, but there are so many things we don't really think about with photography these days.

Of course everything is manual with a camera like this, so you have to know what you're doing, and what lighting you're working with and what all of that means, but that's honestly the least of your worries. There is not an unlimited amount of pictures with a camera like this.

With the film we use, you have 24 shots with one can of film. Basically 24 chances to get a good picture. Obviously you wouldn't want to use all 24 shots taking the same exact picture. (Like we do with our camera phones.) You really want to use every shot for everything it's worth, so it takes a lot longer to actually push that little button.  But this also makes every shot worth that much more, as it is really one of a kind.

Like with everything on this post, I am not saying that phones, and camera phones are bad. I love my iPhone's camera. I use it religiously. But there is something to be said for REAL pictures. The kind that only pop up once every 20 years with a national geographic magazine.

I also love the idea of taking pictures for myself. So often I catch myself taking pictures for the sole purpose of posting them about something. We all do it. The dialogue in our brain goes something like this, "I have to take this picture from this angle so that I get this many likes on it. Oh, and I'll caption it with this hashtag, and this hilarious thing, and everyone will love it, and think I live the most wonderful life." Maybe not exactly but... C'mon. It's pretty dang close.

Why don't we take pictures just to take pictures and document our beautiful lives for ourselves? This way of picture taking really forces you to take pictures in a completely different way, and that's why I think the art of actual photography has changed so much, and deserves some kind of renaissance. A rebirth of film photography, or just thoughtful photography at the very least. Let us not forget that "Selfie" was once called a "self portrait," and took a lot of time and practice. 

There are so many other ways that we can use the creative process more in our lives, and I believe that it is such acts that can enhance our life. I am not saying that a little mindless activity on our phones is totally bad and we are all heathens for it. 

But working with our hands is so wholesome in such an enriching way. It never hurts to try something that makes you think about or see the world in a different way. It's how we grow, and it's how we unleash our minds. If you aren't creative, or you feel like you aren't creative, stop it. Everyone is creative in some way. Just as everyone is technical in some way. I used to think I only had a right brain. We need Yin and Yang in our lives. Find the best way to use both in your life. And just use your hands and do something awesome.

I suppose we might not be killing the creative process, as many professions are hands on, and many people put their best foot forward in many things in their lives. Just keep in mind, that just because something takes longer and is more tedious, does not make it not worth it. Hard work is always worth it, and often yields better results.

Modern Living in an Old Home

I usually try not to reveal to many things about my inner most personal life on the internet, but this is something that I talk about with my friends a lot, and something kind of fun.

When my husband and I were getting close to our wedding date, we of course were searching for an apartment. We definitely wanted one in the older part of town, as we absolutely love vintage things, and the nostalgia that surrounds them. Plus it's a quiet part of this crazy college town, so it's nice to be in a more settled, quiet part of town. We were lucky enough to really just stumble upon the apartment we are currently living in. We absolutely love it, but it is SUPER quirky. Much like our personalities. There is nothing necessarily wrong with living in a quirky house, but there are definitely some things to get used to. So here you have it. Functioning in an extremely quirky home.

As far as our land lord knows, our humble home was built around the 40's. A lot of the things in our house were gradually added as the years went by. The house was of course originally built as a single family home, but has been converted into a 4-plex. Which I love, because we still get the feeling of living in a home while just living in an apartment.

Let's start with the kitchen.

This is our cute kitchen. Typical galley style kitchen, so nothing particularly special. Definitely no dish washer. That has been a bit of an adjustment, but still manageable. There is something far more dysfunctional about our kitchen. You see where that arrow is pointing? THAT. Is one of the only plugs I have in my entire kitchen.

All of the items that tend to need to be plugged in all the time sit next to this plug. This also makes it hard for me to use smaller appliances such as blenders, kitchen Aids, crock pots, etc. If I ever need to use a crock pot for something, the crock pot pulls up a chair and has a nice sit while it does its work. Other than that, our kitchen is pretty cute, and we actually have a ridiculous amount of cabinet space. So I really can't complain. Except for one other thing.

This is a creepy door. A very creepy door. When we first were shown the apartment, we were shown this door, and there is a small hallway behind it with shelves and some pantry space. There are also some stairs leading to what used to be a door that lead to the outside when the house was originally built. Our land lord said that it didn't go anywhere anymore. We quickly dismissed the thought. 

The Door remained, and remains "locked" from our side, and we thought nothing of it. When we first moved in, we were chillin' in the living room, and suddenly we heard voices as if someone else were in our apartment. It sounded like it was coming from the kitchen. I made my husband go investigate. He unlatched the door, and went into the hallway. He went all the way down the stairs, to find that there was a corner he could walk around. Around that corner was our downstairs neighbor's kitchen....

He could even see what they were cooking for dinner. Obviously we have pretty much just left that door locked, and don't really use the shelves or anything in this weird creepy hallway.

It occurs to me as I look at these pictures that my house, when edited a certain way would be the perfect horror film location. Definitely a consideration when living in a dated home.

On to the bathroom. A perhaps even less functional part of our home.

This is our little sink.

That's right! No counter space! It's actually pretty okay. You just find a way to work around it. My husband actually loves vintage sink fixtures, so when he saw this he was pretty much sold. I'll admit that it has a certain charm, but functionality is not one of them.

Now the toilet. This seems really odd, as all toilets are the same, and it's just a toilet. But this is the space that exists between our toilet, and the bath tub.

Yes it is extremely awkward. I can't even fit my legs in this awkward space. So I straight up just sit side-ways on it. It's just become a normal thing, so I really don't think much of it these days, but when we first moved in, I had a very hard time with it. It just wasn't set up very well.

Now the shower. Again, seems like a weird thing to be posting pictures of. 

The shower head itself seams pretty normal, and it isn't too bad. But the way that the shower works is kind of weird.

It's basically a catheter that takes water from what would usually be the bath tub faucet, and brings it to the shower head. We also have the old fashioned "hot" and "cold" knobs going on. Needless to say, not many baths happen here.

Now some other random things around the house. The door knobs.

Seems pretty normal, most of the door knobs look like this. Which would be fine, but at some point in the life of this apartment, somebody got really lazy and decided to paint over all of these cute little vintage key holes on all of the doors. It would be so cute if these cute little fixtures were in their original state! Unfortunately everything in this apartment has been painted over. Not only these, but things such as land lines, door hinges, basically everything. Somebody also decided to paint the walls white, but then paint the trims weird colors. Like red, and off green.

This is more of a personal choice, and it sort of just happened. My kitchen is full of little critters.

We put these on our registry as something fun for people to get. And people actually got them for us. Our little squirrel cookie jar, and fox pepper shakers. It makes me so happy. And of course we can't forget Quincey!

Quincey is a quail, but he is also a Tea Pot. I couldn't resist buying him at a vintage fair I went to a short while ago. 

For the most part, this is the cute little quirkiness of our little home. We actually really love it here, despite the dysfunction of some things. We love the quirky heart and warm feeling that this little place gives us. 

This is our first place together, and one we have already shared many memories with. It's starting to feel much more like a home and less like an old apartment. Especially with our own flair and style being added to this cute little place. For now this is a great place for us to be, and we have enjoyed all of the curve balls it has given us. No matter how strange. 

We have loved making this place our own, and I believe that is a true mark of a home. Being with those you love, and getting a place to reflect who you are together.

Sketches from a Wintery Day.

I went for a walk today.

It was a January kind of day- at the end of March. Winter seams to not quite be ready to let go of its grasp. Earlier this week it snowed for nearly two days straight, and now there is a lingering coldness that is definitely a Winter kind of cold. 

I went for a walk anyway, despite the chill in the air. It was a jazz kind of day. A rainy kind of day, even though that rain was actually snow, I refused to admit that it was still snowy outside. 

Pandora did a poor job at picking out some rainy jazz, but with some guidance it eventually caught on. 

The great thing about Jazz is that it acknowledges the fact that it's okay to be down, and not be completely happy, yet it boosts your spirits without forcing you to feel all warm and fluffy about yourself. It's like a good friend who will sit on the ground and do nothing but wallow with you for a while, and you somehow leave feeling better. It doesn't try to hard to make you suddenly feel better. It simply takes you as you are, and leaves you be. 

Not that I was particularly depressed or sad about anything. I'm actually an extremely optimistic person, but it was just a grey day.

Eventually I made my way to a bench to do some sketching. I've been a terrible artist lately and haven't actually been practicing drawing things. Which is where your skills tend to actually improve. So I'm setting out to start doing that more. I basically just drew what I could see from the bench. And I realized something.

I started with the big things in my line of sight. A lamp post. The house behind the lamp post. The street. Then I realized something. There were about 5 trees that I hadn't even seen. It's not that I didn't see them, it's that I was looking right through them. Which is fine, and something that many of us do, but then I looked around, and I had this awakening moment of like, "Woah. There are trees everywhere." 

This sounds extremely lame and like one of the most obvious things anyone has ever said. But I noticed the dead, empty trees for one of the first times in my life. The trees of winter. That's one of the cool things about drawing actually, it forces you to notice things that wouldn't usually be noticed. Because when you are drawing something you want to be accurate and you want to dictate EVERYTHING you see. Drawing is something like 60% looking and 40% actually drawing. 

When I noticed all of the trees, with their sad, wintery looks, and their barren branches, I took a minute and just looked at the trees. And I was just like, there are so many things that I probably don't ever notice. Which is just a part of life, as our brains can really only hold so much information. But at the same time, it was such a wholesome moment. I even looked beyond the houses I was drawing to see the giant masses of trees spread through the valley.

It's crazy how our minds just stop recognizing things. These things stop registering to us, and we sort of just float through life in a daze of sorts. Now I'm not necessarily one of those, "We should stop to smell every rose" type of people, and that's really not the point I'm trying to get across. I suppose the point really is that sometimes we just seem to look right through things. Right through people. What a great practice it has been for me to sit and draw something right in front of me. Forcing myself to just look is one of the purist practices I have. 

Eventually my ink drawing turned into more of a watercolor drawing, as it was sprinkling a little bit. Which I actually didn't mind. It gave the scene I drew such a great tone.

After some quality art time I continued my walk through my neighborhood. I live in a definite college town, and I live in (my mind) one of the most charming parts of town. It's the quiet part of town, where an equal amount of elderly, and newly weds live. I love walking past the houses. I know that my house was built in the 40's, so I would assume that many of the houses in my neighborhood are from a similar time. Most of the houses have been converted into some sort of apartment complex. It's fun to walk through and imagine what the house looks like, and what it used to look like inside. Most of these houses have little newlyweds stowed away in the basement apartment. I love the nostalgia that these houses seem to give off.

I love the artistic flow of the place I live in. Even though we just barely got a Denny's and lack a decent book store, and many other things I would like to have. I enjoy the slow, quiet pace of this little town for now. Such a great reminder to notice the things we have while we still have them. In our world, things change so drastically, we never know when we will be moving on to the next phase of our lives, and as we say in my family, "It ain't never gon' be the same."

How to Dump Pop Music. (You can still be friends...)

I'm about to get real.

Because this is so important.

I'm talking about music.

Now everyone listens to music. Let's rewind to when I was a young arrogant Teen. Back then I only listened to classical music, and turned my nose up to anything that was not classical. I pretty much thought that anyone who listened to modern music was absolute scum for not listening to classical music. I was THAT snob. 

I was actually really annoying about it... I've been reading through old journals and Facebook posts lately and man I was a little entitled brat. **Face palm.**

Fast forward a few years. Eventually I was sick of having no idea what kids my age were talking about. Plus I figured if I was going to make fun of their music I should know what I was listening to. So I broke. I started listening to pop. 

But something crazy happened. I kinda liked it. So then I started branching off and listening to all sorts of "modern music," and eventually got into the indie scene of, "I listen to bands you've never heard of," and "I was listening to these guys before they were cool." That's about where I'm at now.

That's all besides the point. The point is, I branched out.

When I was the classical snob of my younger years, I think I knew that I was fighting a losing battle and that's why I was such a brat about it. The thing is, people actually don't care how bad the music is that they are listening to. And This is important. People don't care that a lot of music being made these days is just bad. I think subconsciously I knew that, and I knew that there was nothing I could do, which made me fight harder to get people to listen to good music. 

There are several reasons why people don't care about how bad music has become.  Pop music is easy to find. It's just there. On the radio, in the car, on the TV. It's cheap entertainment, and takes no effort for the listener to find, or enjoy. If fulfills its ultimate purpose and that is to have a catchy melody that is easy to like, and easy to understand.

Something important to understand is that we have a music industry that rewards PERFORMERS. Not SONG WRITERS. True, many popular musicians write their own music, which is totally awesome. But MANY, MANY of the big artists, (The ones with more than 1 million followers/ listeners,) DO NOT WRITE THEIR OWN MUSIC. They just perform it. The song writers are still paid 50% of all profits, but they receive little recognition. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND. (Usually I am not a chronic "caps lock" user, so this is very important.) 

Pop music on the radio is also screened before a base audience that decides whether or not they like a song based on listening to about 7 seconds of that song. If enough people like it, then the song gets played on public radio. 

IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY PUT EFFORT INTO FINDING IT. You have to do your research, and you have to actually try. 

NO PANDORA WILL NOT JUST MAGICALLY FIND WONDERFUL MUSIC FOR YOU. If you want to just jam to a bunch of music of a similar genre, then Pandora is great, but PANDORA IS NOT A MUSIC DISCOVERY TOOL. Pandora uses an algorithm to find similar songs based on other songs you like. It is preprogrammed, and it is a computer on the other side sending songs to you. It can only do so much.

Discovering music has become a major hobby for me. I constantly need new music and I go on a new crusade almost every week. Here's how I do it, and what I use. It may not work the same for everyone, but if you truly want to find new great music, this is a great way to do it.

Step 1: The Actual Discovery.

There are several sites on the great world wide web out there that I use to find new jams. 

        Spotify works pretty well. I use Apple music these days, and I like it a bit better, but the free version of Spotify on your computer will work just the same.

If you type in an artist that you already know you like, there will usually be a tab that says, "Artists like this," or "similar artists." This is a great way to link things to sounds you already love. You have to be careful, because just like a good old fashioned game of "telephone," the original sound you were looking for can quickly turn into an entirely different genre or sub genre. 

Usually what I do, is I do a big haul of music, and I just flip through hundreds of songs. I listen to artists and albums, and I usually don't listen to entire songs, but I get a general vibe from the songs I'm listening to. If I like it enough in the beginning I save it to a playlist, or somewhere I can find it later. Then comes,

Step 2: The Field Test.

For me I connect well with music while I'm out and about. The best places are on a walk or while I'm driving around. This is where I find that playlist and just put it on. This is usually where I can listen to the whole song and definitely feel if it's right for me or not. For some reason here is where I can just immediately know weather or not it's a keeper. 

So now I know which songs I like. Next usually comes a bit of time where I just fall in love with these songs and play them more frequently than my other stuff. 

Step 3: Excitement.

You have to be careful during this part, this is usually the point in pop music where they play the hottest new song NON STOP on the radio and make everyone totally sick of that song. You have to be careful not to do that to your discoveries.

Don't get me wrong, there are totally those songs that I will play on repeat for the rest of my life with no reservations at all. Midnight City by M83 is totally one of those. That song will probably be on every playlist I make for the rest of my life. And that's okay. But you have to be super careful with new songs, because you can totally ruin a good song by playing it too much.

Step 4: Throw it back.

This is where you put the new stuff away for a little bit. Go back to some old stuff. It will make you appreciate it so much more and bring back tons of great memories. This also helps your brain and ears get exposed to different things which is so great for stimulating your brain. Seriously, a wide range of genres is honestly one of the best musical choices you can ever make for your brain.

Step 5: Come back to your new stuff later.

Sometimes I totally am unsure about a song, and I go through a love-hate relationship with it. So I put it away for a while, and like many relationships we have in life, all I needed was time. Sometimes a little time is totally what has saved certain songs for me. Coming back to a song at a later point is the greatest thing. Sometimes that song is totally what I needed in my life, but I didn't need it when I first discovered it. It has seriously been a life saver so many times. 

This has been the case with so many of my current favorite songs that I cannot express the importance of doing this. 

Side note- Musical slumps happen. Sometimes you just won't know what to listen to. It happens to me all the time, and I'm literally constantly on the search for new tunes. This is where Step 4 comes in. Throwing it back is always a great way to get the brain juices flowing, and make you remember what was happening in your life when you found the song, and what makes you- you!

Here are also some music sites for the open minded music lover. 

I listen to A LOT of genres. Not country. Country is just terrible. But other than that I love LOTS OF MUSIC. I of course love classical, but I also love electronic, chill step, ambient electronic, alternative, rustic acoustic, jazz, smooth jazz, hard-bop jazz, be-bop jazz, new orleans jazz, indie rock, Soul, Motown, Bollywood, Oldies, Basically I will give most things a fighting chance before I totally move on with my life. So these sites are great for the music lover who has a totally open mind.

thisismyjam.com- This website was a great idea. People just literally got on and posted their current jam. Unfortunately not enough people were using it so the site shut down. But the archive of the site is still there. So you can get on and just listen to people's jams that they posted for about 2 years. You have to be careful because some people listen to crazy stuff that might not be your cup of tea. But people also listened to some awesome stuff that is worth the listen. I've found and re-found some great stuff on this site.

bandcamp.com- This site is a great place for totally new, budding artists. We are talking about artists that have less than 5,000 listeners and are totally new to the world of music. (Well atleast to the known world of music. They've been around, you just haven't seen them yet.) These artists are all super independent, so there are options to buy music from, and fund these new budding artists. Which is totally awesome. Support independent and local artists as much as you can. It enriches the community so much.

Well, I can't legitimately use up all of your life rambling about how much better your musical experience could be. You have to go out and make it better yourself. But if you really don't know where to find some good stuff I would love to give any help and suggestions I can.

Basically you just have to get out there and start looking. And that's the fun part! And don't be scared that you might run into some smut. If that isn't your style, just be smart, and know what to look for. Most songs will tell you if they have explicit material before you take a listen. Do it for the future of music! Do it for your poor ears!

Music is a huge reflection of who you are. Make it reflect something that is truly an image of you, not just an image of what the media says you should be.